Not Me Mondays

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by Mckmama to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week check out her blog.

It has not been a really long time since I've done a Not Me Monday post. As a matter of fact, it has not been a really long time since I've posted anything at all! Which did not lead me to discover that my background image had been erased and that did not lead me to spend 15 minutes picking a new image!

I am not just doing this post in hopes of winning a cute little hat from Mckmama. And that giveaway did not cause me to spend 30+ minutes looking at adorable headbands and clips on Etsy this morning. And I am not hoping to make my first Etsy purchase today!

Also, I did not have to retype this entire post because I did not accidentally sign myself out of blogger. Nope, not me!

"I prayed for you"

"I prayed for you."

Do you know the power of those words?

Have you been personally touched by someone saying them to you?

Have you touched someone else by letting them know that you prayed for them?

I hope you have.

On Sunday, a dear sister-in-Christ told me that she had prayed for me that morning. Hearing that brought tears to my eyes. This woman just became Mama to four little boys, ages 6 and under, who lost their parents in a very difficult situation. (She and her husband already have four grown children.) I can't imagine how busy she is and how much time she is spending on her knees for her family but she still found the time to pray for me. Wow.

I am so humbled and blessed by the fact that she did that. Not because she has some super powers but because the One she is praying to does and He delights in answering our prayers!

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

"The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel's hand." Revelation 8:4

"The LORD is far from the wicked
but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 15:29

"Pray without ceasing..." 1 Thessalonians 5:17

So, the next time the Lord puts it on your heart to prayer for someone, tell them that you did. Not for your own praise but so that they might be encouraged and blessed. And know that as I typed this, I prayed for each of you that will read this post. I don't know your every need and struggle but God does and He is faithful!

Confessions and Praise

I have to start this post with a confession. The last couple of weeks have been hard for me. I've really been struggling with anxiety and little faith. My time in the Word has been pathetic and it shows! I've allowed myself to get low and stay there; throwing myself a pity party for one.

Now, that's all ugly stuff that is hard for me to admit and even harder for me to put on this blog. My self-preservation instincts tell me that I should erase that whole thing but it's not about preserving myself, it's about glorifying God! So, I give you the ugliness that is my sinful self in order for you to see the beauty of the work that God has been doing.

One of the things I have been anxious about is the cost of having a baby. (Babies require a lot of things from diapers to strollers and on and on.) As I have been needlessly concerned about this, God saw fit to show me His faithfullness in a couple of ways:

• After researching prices, quality, etc. on car seat travel systems, I finally found one but it was going to be expensive. Sean's parents gave us a gift of money to go towards the cost of the travel system. My very intelligent husband suggested that I look on Craigslist to see if we could find a travel system that way. I was skeptical but gave it a shot anyway. We found a perfect travel system and guess what? The cost was exactly the same amount as the gift from Sean's parents! Wow! We saved over $100 and got a great car seat and stroller for our little girl!

• When baby comes (which will hopefully be soon!) Sean is planning to take some time off. Unfortunately, he doesn't have paid vacation with his current job, so taking time off means lost income. Obviously, it is more important for him to be there for our daughter's birth so he has been planning to take the time off no matter what. Well, my dad recently gave us a gift of money for the baby's coming. The amount is exactly what we will be "losing" when Sean takes the time off. What amazes me is that my dad had no idea that we had this need but God sure did!
  

Some other ways God has been faithfully showing me His glory and power:

• Aiden has officially become a daddy's boy! (Boys normally make this switch around the age of 18 months but Aiden was 19 months old when he first meet his daddy.) The timing on this couldn't be more perfect since I will be very busy with a new baby and unable to give him as much attention as he is accustomed to.

• We were finally able to complete and submit our petition for adoption and are now just waiting for a court date to be scheduled! I really wanted to get this submitted before baby arrived to avoid putting it off any longer!

I hope that this post will encourage you and remind you that our God is ever faithful, powerful, merciful and loving! Even as I have been weak, lofty and doubtful He has covered me with His love and is pulling me out of the hole I dug for myself and threw myself in!

$2 Tea Lattes at Caribou

Caribou has new Tea Latte Fusions and for a limited time they are $2 for a medium on Mondays! I've only tried the Black Thai latte iced but it is AWESOME and well worth the $2!!

I don't usually spend money on coffee drinks but this is a nice little treat. According to the barista at my Caribou, this promotion will be going on through May!

Share your opinion, please?!?

Peacemaking In Marriage was my first successful series on this blog. (I say successful because I actually followed it through to the end unlike some of my other attempted series.) Now, I am really interested in your opinion of the series.

Was it helpful? Why or why not?
Were you encouraged by it?
Do you want to see more posts like this series?

Don't be shy, leave a comment. You can even comment anonymously!

Peacemaking In Marriage, Pt. 3

First of all, let me apologize for the delay in finishing up the series. We have had a couple of busy weeks here, so blogging has not been a priority. That being said, let’s continue to learn about peacemaking in marriage.

In the last post, we talked about the danger of idols in our lives and how to discover them. As I mentioned, idols are often the cause of conflict but ultimately the root cause is sin. It’s important for us to start resolving conflicts by acknowledging and correcting our part in the conflict. One of the steps to do this that we talked about is confession. I want to revisit that for a bit to explain what true confession should look like. When you go to someone in order to confess, make sure your confession includes:

The Seven “A”s of Confession
*Address ALL involved- talk to each person who was hurt in the situation
*Avoid saying “if, but, maybe” (i.e. “If you hadn’t…”, “I’m sorry but…”)
*Admit specifically what you did wrong
*Apologize
*Accept the consequences
*Alter your behavior- part of confession includes turning from that sin with God’s help
*Ask for forgiveness and allow time- it can take just seconds to hurt someone but it may take them longer to forgive you

Not every conflict comes as a result of our sin, the fault may lay in the sin of the other person involved but we are responsible for our actions and our repentance. Even if we have not caused the conflict, in the midst of it we often sin as well. This is why we need to start resolving the conflict by examining ourselves and not just with our eyes but through the eyes of Scripture.

Now, on to this week's topic.

We know that God has a purpose for all things, so what is His purpose in ordaining conflict? There is no way to fully know His every purpose in a situation but there are two things that we know He is doing, 1) glorifying His name and drawing attention to His power and presence and 2) strengthening and refining our character. So look at your conflict with those two things in mind and ask yourself how God is using this situation to do those things.

Four Ways to Resolve Conflicts

1) Glorify God! In resolving conflict glorifying God should be our ultimate goal because we exist to bring glory to His name.

“…bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." Isaiah 43:6-7

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthains 10:31 NIV

2) Remove the log from my own eye. We already talked about this in the last post and in the beginning of this post.

“Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:4-5

3) Go and show your brother his faults. Don’t revel and delight in this opportunity and do not make this a rant session about all the things your spouse has done wrong over the course of your marriage, etc. Go with a humble heart and the intention of loving your spouse.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone…” Matthew 18:15

When to overlook an offense:
*If the offense did not dishonor God
*If the offense did not permanently damage a relationship
*If it has not hurt others
*If the offense is not hurting the offender himself/herself

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

4) Go and be reconciled. For true reconciliation/forgiveness you must resolve not to think about the situation, not to bring up the situation again, not to talk to others about the situation, and not to allow this to stand between you and your spouse or to hinder your personal relationship. There may be situations where you both agree to make an exception to one of these things. For example, to help another couple in a similar situation, it may be necessary to talk about the conflict again.

"First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:24

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So, I'm going to give this a try for the first time this week. I don't know if I'll be able to do it every week but we'll see.

First of all, it is NOT snowing like crazy outside. Nope, it's 70 and sunny here in Minnesota. And I am NOT cooped up in the house with 3 kids (2 three year olds and a 20 mo. old). And the 2 three year olds (who I'm NOT cooped up with) are NOT driving me absolutely insane. Nope. They are both capable of laying quietly in a bed for a period of time greater than five minutes. So I am NOT tempted to pull my hair out right now. Not at all.

Also, I did NOT feed the kids Mac-n-Cheese with a can of green peas and some ham mixed in for lunch since I wouldn't even eat that. They did NOT love it and have seconds and even thirds. Eww. Nope, we only eat gourmet here.

Oh and time-outs are NOT totally ineffective. HA.

Alas, all 3 children have awoken from their peaceful rests.

Peacemaking In Marriage, Pt. 2

So, did you do your homework? Did you think about how you would answer the questions from last week's post?

Most conflicts come from unmet expectations and the disappointment and frustrations that result. Expectations are far too often idols. So, let's start by determining what the idols are in our lives and see if those are also areas of conflict with our spouses.

*What am I preoccupied with?
*"If only ___________, then I would feel happy, safe and secure."
*What do I want to preserve or avoid?
*Where do I put my trust?
*What do I fear?
*Is there something I want so much that I am willing to hurt others in order to obtain it?
*How am I judging those who don't fulfill my desires?
*How am I punishing those who don't fulfill my desires?

Idols are those things (material or not) that we put before the Lord. Things that we look to for happiness and fulfillment. True happiness and fulfillment can only come from God and idols will inevitably leave us broken and hungering.

"And they did wicked things, provoking the LORD to anger, and they served idols, of which the LORD had said to them, 'You shall not do this.'" 2 Kings 17:11-12


"They served their idols, which became a snare to them." Psalm 106:36


"Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love." Jonah 2:8

"Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry." 1 Cor. 10:14

"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality,
impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." Col. 3:5

Once we discover idols in our lives what do we do with that information? In 1 John 1:9 we read, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Confronting idols is done in 3 steps:

1) Identify- how did you answer the questions above? What expectations are idols in your life?

2) Confess- confess these things first to the Lord and then to anyone whom you've hurt in pursuit of these things.

3) Ask for forgiveness- again, first from the Lord and then from anyone you've hurt as a result of this idolatry.

So, look at the areas of conflict between you and your spouse, are any of them a result of idols in your heart? Pray and ask the Lord to reveal any idols in your life. In resolving conflicts and peacemaking, we must first start with ourselves.

Come back for the third (and possibly final) installment in this series next week.

Peacemaking In Marriage, Pt. 1

About a year ago, God put it on my heart that I needed to learn about what peace is. Not the peace of this world but true God-given, Christ-exalting peace.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27 ESV

One of the first things the Lord lead me to in this search for His peace was the book, The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. This book, in addition to the many Scriptures I read on peace, served to be incredibly convicting. There were a couple of key areas in my life where I did not have peace and with God's help, I needed to make some changes.

While, it's been a year and although the work is not complete, those areas have been transformed by His grace and peace. I will say more in another post about what those things are and what God taught me but this post is about peacemaking in marriage. This was the topic at the MOMS group I attended last week at my church. The speakers were a couple from my church and they used The Peacemakers and Sande's other book, Peacemaking for Families, as sources. I took notes during this presentation, so this series will be a combination of their information and my own insights (in italics).

I want to start by asking you to figure out how you would answer the following questions:

1) What are some current areas of conflict with my spouse? (Romance, finances, parenting, etc.)

2) How do I handle conflict? (Fight or flight; now or later; brush it under the rug, etc.)

3) How can my spouse and I have a more peaceful marriage?

4)What peacemaking characteristics are we teaching our children?

Ponder these things and tune in for the next part of this series!

"...taught me how to praise my God and still play rock'n'roll..."

Some friends shared this video with us and I thought I'd pass on the humor.



And that video reminded me of this one...



Hope this gives you a good laugh today!

Tragedy.

John Piper has written another powerful blog post on the horrific tragedy of abortion. His description of an 8 week old fetus again broke my heart for the unborn who are being murdered by the thousands each day.

"[An 8 week old fetus] with beating heart, EKG, brain waves,
thumb-sucking,pain sensitivity, finger-grasping,
and genetic humanity..."

That IS a human being; just as much as I am a human being and just as much as you are a human being. You can read Piper's post here. I pray that these words and these deaths break your heart as well.




"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

Discipline as the Lord does

"No father chastens always: your Lord hates the rod as much as you do; he only cares to use it for that reason which should make you willing to receive it, namely, that it works your lasting good." Morning and Evening, Spurgeon

My hope and prayer is that I may discipline Aiden as the Lord disciplines us. Each time I discipline Aiden I want it to be with the intention of working his lasting good. And his lasting good is for him to come to know and love Jesus as his Lord and personal Savior. I often fail at this by disciplining out of frustration or anger or impatience. I need to learn to hate the rod (or time outs or whatever form(s) of discipline are used) so that in the times when it is used I am only using it to point him to Christ and the Father's discipline of us.

A bit of humor

Through one of my favorite blogs, 22 words, I discovered that one of Sean's friends has a blog that is absolutely hilarious. You should check it out, www.tendigitlumber.com!

Helpful Mommy Tips

I have recently discovered two VERY useful "Mommy tools" and I thought I would share them with my blog readers.

#1- Printable weekly planners and/or printable meal planners. Sean and I have started writing out a family schedule and being able to print a weekly planner has been great! Just google "printable weekly planners" and you will get a lot of options. Personally, I like this simple one.

#2- Thomas the Tank Engine Series 1984 on YouTube! I don't let Aiden watch videos very often and I don't like the fact that kids videos are 45 minutes long or more. Thankfully, I found the entire TTE series on YouTube. These videos are great because they are only 5-6 minutes long and the older series were written by a Christian. There may be more series of other shows but I've just found this one so far.

If you have any helpful mommy tips of your own, please share!

"I know I got life, matter fact better man, I know I got Christ"

My soul was rocked today in church. The hectic schedule I have had for the last couple of weeks has left my spirit feeling weak and dry. Unfortunately, in all the things to get done, places to go, plans to make I have spent very little time focused on Christ. When Christ is your center and you are not focusing on Him, nothing else goes right. Spiritually I have barely been making it lately. Last night God lead me to my Morning and Evening devotional by Charles Spurgeon and to this week's fighter verse, James 4:7-8b. Those two things greatly encouraged me and I prayed that God would refresh my spirit. As He always does, God answered in a big way. The music today in church was exactly what I needed to hear. Before the first song was finished I could feel my soul drinking once again of the living waters.

But God did not stop there. Lecrae, a Christian rap artist, gave a special performance at our church this morning. He performed his song, "Don't Waste Your Life," which is based off of John Piper's book by the same title. The lyrics of this song brought me to tears. Seeing that God has taken rap music (which so often is full of sinful ideas) and made it his own was amazing. God has truly given Lecrae an incredible gift.

Finally, the sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. A powerful, insightful proclamation of the gospel, true to God's word! (I will put the link up for the sermon sometime Monday, Lord willing.) What an amazing answer to prayer! Thank you, Jesus, thank you!

"Don't Waste Your Life" Lecrae

Single Moms, Pt. 1

I've only attempted one other series on this blog and it did not last very long. In spite of that, I am going to try to do another series. The topic of this series is very close to my heart as I have been a single mom for 2 1/2 years. During this time, God has blessed me abundantly with friends (and strangers) who have been incredible supporters and encouragers. I thought I would put together a series of things that we can do to be a blessing to single mothers and also to help others understand what it is like to be a single mom.

Next Sunday, May 10th, is Mother's Day. Although like most holidays, Mother's Day has become quite commercialized it is still great to have a day to celebrate and appreciate mothers. Especially in families where there are young children, the responsibility for planning the Mother's Day activities tends to be the husband's job. So, in families with a single mom, nothing may be planned for Mother's Day.

This is were we come in. Do something kind, special, etc. for the single moms in your life! Here are some ideas of what you can do:

• Write a card
• Give her a quick phone call
• Invite her and her kids to lunch, dinner, dessert, etc.
  
• Bring a meal
• Arrange to help her kids make her something special
  
• Even something as small as wishing her a "Happy Mother's Day" in church will make a big impression!

Most of these suggestions can also be done throughout the year to encourage single moms.



Disclaimer- I am in no way trying to make someone feel like they have to do these things. The purpose of this post is to give ideas to people who want to reach out to single moms in some way.

What it means to be a parent

This quote from Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart summarizes my beliefs about what it means to be a parent:

“You must regard parenting as one of your most important tasks while you have children at home. This is your calling…There is nothing more important. You have only a brief season of life to invest yourself in this task. You have only one opportunity to do it. You cannot go back and do it over.

You live in a culture in which there are opportunities for you to do things unheard of in history. You are presented daily with scores of opportunities. There is more than you could ever do. [But] to do this job of parenting well, it must be a primary task. It is your primary calling.”

This would be my recommendation for anyone looking for a book on biblical parenting.

It is about Christ

What is the most important part of a wedding? In going into the planning of the wedding I knew the answer to this question. The answer is Christ, taking him out of the focus takes the entire significance out of the event.

I know that nonbelievers do not see Him as the most important part but I assumed that they saw the vows or the marriage as the most important. I am learning that this is not the case. What the wedding looks like, what food is served, how the food is served, etc., ad nausem. These are the things that are central in some people's minds. A wedding becomes all about appearances. This saddens me. I should add, this sentiment/this world view is not unique to unbelievers, there are professing Christians who feel the same way.

Before we even got engaged, Sean and I had discussed how important it was to us that his wedding and my wedding (no matter who we married) be as Christ-exalting as they could be. This remains the heart of our thinking as we now plan our wedding. There are nonbelievers in both of our families and we want to display the Truth of marriage in the best way we can. Even our wedding can be a testimony of God's grace, love and mercy. We want to step back from the world's belief that you must have the most expensive everything to have a good wedding. We want to be good stewards of the money God is loaning us, not only with regard to our wedding but also in our future together.

Now don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that a Christ-honoring wedding means being cheap. A wedding is a very important celebration, as is the reception. Jesus even saw fit to turn water into wine at the wedding in Cana, his first miraculous sign (see John 2). What I am saying is that every decision made and every penny spent should be done with the mindset of honoring and exalting Christ. That is what the heart of a marriage must be and a wedding is the beginning of a marriage. A marriage is a picture of Christ and the church so a wedding can be likened to the moment of salvation, the moment when the imperfect bride is joined to Christ forever. Celebrate this moment, praise Him, worship Him!

Calling all Minnesotans

August seems so very far away but in wedding timing it might as well be tomorrow. That is what I have learned this week. I am already behind the curve because we are getting married so soon(?) and I need to find a venue.

So, I am calling all Minnesotans, at least all my Minnesotan readers! Do you have a suggestion for a wonderful wedding venue? I would prefer it not be outdoor and we are on a shoe-string budget. The dates we prefer are the weekend of August 1st or the weekend of August 8th.

Don't be too shy to comment/share your opinion, I am desperate here! But if you are too shy, you could always say a prayer for me since we know that God is the one in control of these things! If you have my email, feel free to email also!

An engaging conversation (Pt. 2)

On Saturday (Feb. 21st), Sean and I celebrated Valentine's Day together. I realize Valentine's Day is Feb. 14th but Sean had postponed it as he was sick that week. I arrived at Sean's house at 6pm and all the lights were out. He had candles lit in the dining room and a table set for the two of us. He'd made dinner and it was waiting for us.

We ate dinner and when we'd finished, he started talking. He explained that these past nine months have been the happiest nine months of his life and he said the reason for that was because he started dating a wonderful woman named Claire and, "she came with a sidekick." He walked over to my side of the table, got down on one knee and asked, "Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?" He pulled the most beautiful ring out of his pocket and I said, "Of course!"

The ring is beautiful but the most wonderful part of all of this is that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me! I am giving all the credit and thanks to God because we know that He is the reason we are together, He is the reason for everything. We will continue to pray that He remains the center of our lives as we take a new step in our journey!

"Love is from God..." 1 John 4:7