Not Me Mondays

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by Mckmama to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week check out her blog.

It has not been a really long time since I've done a Not Me Monday post. As a matter of fact, it has not been a really long time since I've posted anything at all! Which did not lead me to discover that my background image had been erased and that did not lead me to spend 15 minutes picking a new image!

I am not just doing this post in hopes of winning a cute little hat from Mckmama. And that giveaway did not cause me to spend 30+ minutes looking at adorable headbands and clips on Etsy this morning. And I am not hoping to make my first Etsy purchase today!

Also, I did not have to retype this entire post because I did not accidentally sign myself out of blogger. Nope, not me!

"...taught me how to praise my God and still play rock'n'roll..."

Some friends shared this video with us and I thought I'd pass on the humor.



And that video reminded me of this one...



Hope this gives you a good laugh today!

A bit of humor

Through one of my favorite blogs, 22 words, I discovered that one of Sean's friends has a blog that is absolutely hilarious. You should check it out, www.tendigitlumber.com!

Helpful Mommy Tips

I have recently discovered two VERY useful "Mommy tools" and I thought I would share them with my blog readers.

#1- Printable weekly planners and/or printable meal planners. Sean and I have started writing out a family schedule and being able to print a weekly planner has been great! Just google "printable weekly planners" and you will get a lot of options. Personally, I like this simple one.

#2- Thomas the Tank Engine Series 1984 on YouTube! I don't let Aiden watch videos very often and I don't like the fact that kids videos are 45 minutes long or more. Thankfully, I found the entire TTE series on YouTube. These videos are great because they are only 5-6 minutes long and the older series were written by a Christian. There may be more series of other shows but I've just found this one so far.

If you have any helpful mommy tips of your own, please share!

An unplanned writing leave

I know my dear readers are probably disappointed that I have not posted in 2 weeks. [Yes, I am pretending that my blog actually has a following, leave me to my delusions of grandeur.] I have been on an unplanned writing leave due to a week of illness for myself and my son. Spending a whole week being sick and taking care of a sick child puts a mother way behind in... well, everything else.

So this week I am trying to catch up. I probably won't be posting much but I have some great ideas rolling around in my head so keep checking in!

Non-participators is a synonym for blog stalkers!

The reason I asked about location in my last post is because my Feedjit (see white box on the right) tells me that I have readers in places like Grimesland, NC; Arlington, TX; and Rockville, MD. So, I am curious as to who these people are. Come out of hiding and let me know.

Also, a special thanks to my cousin, Cat, for proving that sarcasm/wittiness is genetic in some families! Love you!

Hey you!

Make yourself known. To assuage my curiosity, let me know you're out there!

Do you read my blog regularly? Do you like it? Is there something you want to see more or less or new?

Don't be afraid to comment! Let's start with name, location and relationship to me (if any). Then if you're really brave you can answer the questions above!

~E.K.

The taste of feet

I hate those times when I unintentionally but completely stick my foot in my mouth. In most of these instances I offend someone who is dear to me and I hate that. So, in case I have done this to you, I am sorry.

Dios mediante

We all have desires. It is not inherently wrong to have them as long as what you're pursuing is not a sin and your desire is not covetous. There is a specific way we are called to desire things though. When we want things, when we pray for things, when we go after things we must remember that our desires are subject above all to God's will.

We must always be aware of this and willing to submit to this. When we do not obtain our desires we must remember that this is God's will for us and we must be joyous. We can rest assured that even when something has not gone the way we have hoped it to, it has without a doubt gone the way our Sovereign Lord ordained. In accepting that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

It is good to want a husband and children. It is good to want health for ourselves and those we love. It is good to be joyous if God gives us these things but it is also good and vital to be joyous if He does not.

If you desire a husband and children but God keeps you single praise His name, for being single is for your good and His glory. If you lose someone you love to cancer even this is God's will and even this will be for good. "As for you, you meant evil against me but God meant it for good." (Genesis 50:20) If you want to be healthy to serve God and bring Him glory but you remain ill or in pain then this is how He wants you to bring Him glory. These incredibly difficult examples make the ones we face daily seem more surmountable. The most wonderful thing about all of this is knowing that the God who wills is also the God who gives the grace necessary to be joyous in these things.

Dios mediante. God willing.

When my walk is weak

When my walk with Christ is weak, everything suffers. School, mothering, girlfriend-ing (that's right, I made that word up), praying, you name it. It's one big snowball effect as things just add up. I feel...well, everything, a little bit of every emotion out there.

My walk has been weak for the past 2 weeks or so. Some days it improves but then it seems I'm down again. I feel so far from Christ but my heart and Spirit know that He is with me. It has been especially difficult because I see all the good God is continuing to do in my life and I don't feel like I am praising Him enough. I am so grateful that our salvation and His mercies are not dependent on our works. He has showed me that often in the past 2 weeks. If this were not the case I would be (we all would be) headed for the fires of hell.

I want to lock myself in a room and just read the Bible, pray and worship. I think that is what I will try to do tonight when the girls have been picked up and Aiden is asleep. Hopefully I will be able to do some journaling, I haven't been able to write in over 2 weeks, not for a lack of time but for a lack of words. For me, not being able to write, not having words to put in my journal is a sure sign of trouble.

I am going to the cross, my only comfort, my only delight, my Lord and Savior.

My experiment

For the past four weeks I have been covertly [read: unintentionally] conducting an experiment. Hopefully today was the last day of the experiment for a while. In four weeks, Aiden and I have taken 3 trips to his pediatrician in Edina. Edina is a pretty affluent suburb of Minneapolis and therefore was the perfect site for this experiment. On each of the visits I have been observing the way cars are parked in the parking lot.

Hypothesis:
I left our first visit with my hypothesis, "The richer you are (or the more expensive car you drive), the worse you are at parking." Aiden left with a diagnosis of walking pneumonia.
Data:
Trip #2 confirmed my suspicions as Aiden and I attempted to walk between two cars that were parked completely crooked, one was a Range Rover and one was a Saab. That trip Aiden came home with a bill of good health and a few "owwies" from shots. Today was (again, I say hopefully) the culmination of my extensive scientific work on the subject of poor parking. I parked in front of a Cadillac that was over the line and crooked. Next to the Cadillac was a brand-new shiny Jeep, parked crooked. Now, don't get me wrong, when I say crooked I don't mean just a little bit, I mean "have you been drinking?"-crooked. Aiden departed this time with a diagnosis of an ear infection.
Conclusion:
Needless to say I think my hypothesis has been proven. Now the question remains, are they bad at parking because they truly lack the ability/eyesight to park straight or is it just that they don't think they have to park within the lines?

more than words

Last night my heart was broken into a million sweet, joyous little pieces.

Sean, Aiden and I went out for dinner at Olive Garden. While we were eating dinner a hostess came over to our table to talk to Aiden. Sean had just told Aiden that he had to eat the food on his plate before he could have anything more. The hostess asked Aiden, "Are you and your daddy having a discussion?" That one word filled my heart with an incredible amount of joy. My son has never had a daddy and I have never heard anyone ask him/talk to him about his daddy. Everyone around us knows the circumstances of our lives and is therefore very cautious and respectful, meaning that word does not come up. But God is changing our lives. I know that God is telling me that He has chosen Sean to be Aiden's daddy and to hear that dream put into words (even by a complete stranger) for the first time was amazing. It makes the waiting that much more sweet.

That is not the end of the story. When we got home it was time for Aiden to go to bed. On our Bible study nights Sean helps with the regular "going to bed routine" by reading Aiden his Bible story and praying with us. As we turned out the lights I heard my son say for the first time, "Love you Sean, love you!" It was at that moment that my heart broke, overfilled with joy and no longer able to hold it all in. Our God is so good! Aiden will tell me he loves me as long as I say it first which is fine with me. He has never said it to anyone without someone's encouragement ("Tell [insert name here] you love him/her."). Last night no encouragement was necessary.

How great is our God?

This is what I will be doing Friday night...

It is awesome that a Christian movie will be shown in mainstream theaters, although it will not be every theater. If we want to see this happen more, we have to get out there and support these films!

"I can't wait to go to Home Depot!"

Here is an incredibly funny video from one of the blogs I read regularly:

Crossing The New I-35 Bridge for the 1st Time

I love the fact that they end up at McDonald's, too!

grace and growing

God's grace is evident in all things, remember to look.

Our generous Lord has given me so much grace in my life. I am reminded of how undeserving I truly am apart from the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. My relationship with Sean continues to grow in ways I never knew were possible. I did not know I could ever love someone this way and have them love me in return with the same intensity. Without a doubt, this passion is from God; an incredible blessing that has His name all over it.

"...Put off the old self...and put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Eph. 4:22-23
A few days ago I listened to Sean thank me for my humility and my gentleness. For a moment I wondered if he knew what those words meant. Two years ago those words would not have been used to describe me, unless the category was "things Claire is not." The "old Claire" was combative and defensive regardless of the situation. I take no credit for this change because it is the work of God alone. He has healed the wounds that caused me to lash out and forgiven the sins that made me fight. I had to be in control in everything because I was so afraid of the one time I was not in control. By His grace I am not that person today. Grace upon grace flows down.

A new definition for a new life...

Love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Cor 13:4-8a

"Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." Psalm 63:3

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." Romans 13:8

In being born again, I have learned the true meaning of the word "love." A word that in our culture is thrown around, devalued and defaced everyday. It's preciousness was unknown to me until I surrendered to Christ's love. Everyday for nearly two years, I have been learning how to love and growing in my love for our great Creator. Though I am undeserving, He has given me His unconditional love. I could not ask for more but He gives in abundance beyond our imagination's small abilities. God has given me Sean's love and filled me with love for Sean. I am humbled by this blessing and humbled by the magnitude of His love for me, for us, for everyone. God is good and His love is all I need, He provides!

Absense makes...

...the heart grow fonder.

Aiden and I leave Tuesday morning for 2 -yep, not one but two- full weeks in North Carolina. I think I miss Sean already but I know that this can only be a good thing for us.

I continue to see God growing and strengthening this relationship. I am blessed daily by this man God has chosen to bring into my life. I appreciate all the prayers that you all have said for us and ask that you continue to raise us up in your prayers. Please pray that God would continue to be the guiding force in this relationship and that our only desire would continue to be His will!

Love, E.K.

Scared, in a good way

Last night, while sitting on the couch with Sean, he looked at me and asked me what I was thinking. I wavered slightly, should I tell him? Seeing my hesitation, he reminded me, "You're an open book, remember!" I should have known those words would come back to bite me.

"I am thinking that this is scary. But a good kind of scary. The kind of scary that makes me call out to Christ in prayer. The kind of scary that reminds me no matter what happens, it is for my good. There is so much potential for heartbreak. But God is in control."

Yes, I am scared but in the same instance, I am assured. I do not doubt my Savior. I know that he has promised to do all things for my good. He does not promise that bad things will not happen, instead he promises that even those things will be for my good. "... but God meant it for good." Genesis 50:20. Regardless of the outcome of this relationship, I will be able to glory in the knowledge that it is in accordance with His will for our lives. That is not to say that there won't be pain, there very possibly could be. But I have salvation that overshadows all hurt; salvation that makes suffering worthwhile.

"Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"
-MercyMe, Bring the Rain

Love, E.K.

The quickest way...

...to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Well, if that old adage is true, then my work is done. Sean had dinner with Aiden and me at our apartment for the first time last night. This was quite a step as far as I'm concerned and I was nervous! I wanted my house to be spotless and the meal to be amazing. So, I prayed while I grocery shopped, prayed while I cleaned for 2 hours, prayed while I cooked and then prayed a bit more for good measure! And because God is loving, generous and omnipotent, he answered my prayers! The apartment looked great and I made the best lasagna I have ever made!

Dinner went well and I got to witness an amazing thing. The two of the men I love (yes, it's official, I am in love) spent a half hour playing together and getting to know each other. Just as I presumed, Sean's concern that he wouldn't know how to entertain Aiden was unnecessary. Aiden could not have been happier; he had an adult, who wasn't Mom, playing with him! My suspicions were confirmed, Sean will be a great father whenever the Lord makes him one. And I think God may already have a child chosen for him to father.

After Aiden went to bed, Sean and I were able to talk for a while. I had been feeling convicted to tell Sean more about the person I was before being saved. I prayed for God to guide my heart and words and then I opened up. I shared the details of what happened to me when I was 15 and how that impacted my life until I was 18 and pregnant. I told him how Christ had healed that wound that had been bleeding for nearly 4 years. Sean held my hand the entire time. I no longer have to worry about how he will react to the valleys that God brought me through.

As we sat on the couch, just holding hands and talking, I felt God's hand over us. I could hear Him saying, "This is of me, beloved." I have never heard that still, small voice so clearly before. And I felt it in my soul. My soul has never felt so fulfilled, I have no doubt that I am walking in His will. I have found my soul's other half. The man that God created for me. There are not sufficient words to describe the wonderment I feel. To be able to see God's leading so clearly.

Undeserving, unworthy. That is what I am. Only deserving God's wrath for a multitude of sins I have committed against him. But because of the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ, I am forgiven. Not only am I forgiven but He has blessed me beyond measure. Though I am deserving of punishment, Christ has instead brought the most amazing man I have ever met into my life and the life of my son. Though I am deserving of death, Christ has given me eternal life. Undeserving. Unworthy. Forgiven. Blessed.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4

Love, E.K.

On My Knees...

Let me start by saying that this poor blog has been neglected! I started this blog thinking it would be a great way for me to express my feelings, emotions, etc. I still believe it has the potential to be an amazing outlet for me, I just need to do a better job of opening up and pouring out. Well, God could not have created a better opportunity for me do just that!

For the first time in over 2 1/2 years, I am dating. To be more accurate, I am dating for the first time. I have been saved for about a year and a half and I am a completely new person (they call it "the New Birth" for a reason!). Because of that, it's like I have never done this before. Also, the guy I am dating, Sean, is a believer and he is like no man I have ever met before. Certainly, not like anyone the "old Claire" dated.

I am experiencing emotions that are completely new to me, unlike anything else I have been through in life. Being saved has showed me just how vast the emotional spectrum is. Gone are the worldly definitions of happiness and satisfaction. They have been replaced my meanings too great to convey in words. Now, the feeling I experience are those that God ordained for me thousands of years ago, before the world was formed.

I am falling in love. Not the worldly love that destroyed me throughout my teen years. A love that reflects the greatest love of all; a love that, God-willing, will point to Christ on the Cross! I am not falling in love with his looks or his personality (though he has both of those). Instead, I am falling in love with how he loves Jesus and the passion that he has for the Lord. I am falling in love with the way that his words challenge me to pursue my Savior that much further. I am falling in love with the realization that he is the kind of man I want to lead my family. I am falling in love with the signs that God is sending me to tell me, "this is the man that I made for you!"

And I am doing all this with a clear mind and a guarded heart. May I not take a breathe, say a word or move in this relationship without it being prayer-saturated and Christ-centered!

Please keep my family (Aiden and me) in your prayers and in the same thought, pray for Sean. The verses that God has given me in this time are Mathew 4:1-1o, pray that we may be like Jesus is in these verses.

Love, E.K.