"I prayed for you"

"I prayed for you."

Do you know the power of those words?

Have you been personally touched by someone saying them to you?

Have you touched someone else by letting them know that you prayed for them?

I hope you have.

On Sunday, a dear sister-in-Christ told me that she had prayed for me that morning. Hearing that brought tears to my eyes. This woman just became Mama to four little boys, ages 6 and under, who lost their parents in a very difficult situation. (She and her husband already have four grown children.) I can't imagine how busy she is and how much time she is spending on her knees for her family but she still found the time to pray for me. Wow.

I am so humbled and blessed by the fact that she did that. Not because she has some super powers but because the One she is praying to does and He delights in answering our prayers!

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

"The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel's hand." Revelation 8:4

"The LORD is far from the wicked
but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 15:29

"Pray without ceasing..." 1 Thessalonians 5:17

So, the next time the Lord puts it on your heart to prayer for someone, tell them that you did. Not for your own praise but so that they might be encouraged and blessed. And know that as I typed this, I prayed for each of you that will read this post. I don't know your every need and struggle but God does and He is faithful!

Peacemaking In Marriage, Pt. 3

First of all, let me apologize for the delay in finishing up the series. We have had a couple of busy weeks here, so blogging has not been a priority. That being said, let’s continue to learn about peacemaking in marriage.

In the last post, we talked about the danger of idols in our lives and how to discover them. As I mentioned, idols are often the cause of conflict but ultimately the root cause is sin. It’s important for us to start resolving conflicts by acknowledging and correcting our part in the conflict. One of the steps to do this that we talked about is confession. I want to revisit that for a bit to explain what true confession should look like. When you go to someone in order to confess, make sure your confession includes:

The Seven “A”s of Confession
*Address ALL involved- talk to each person who was hurt in the situation
*Avoid saying “if, but, maybe” (i.e. “If you hadn’t…”, “I’m sorry but…”)
*Admit specifically what you did wrong
*Apologize
*Accept the consequences
*Alter your behavior- part of confession includes turning from that sin with God’s help
*Ask for forgiveness and allow time- it can take just seconds to hurt someone but it may take them longer to forgive you

Not every conflict comes as a result of our sin, the fault may lay in the sin of the other person involved but we are responsible for our actions and our repentance. Even if we have not caused the conflict, in the midst of it we often sin as well. This is why we need to start resolving the conflict by examining ourselves and not just with our eyes but through the eyes of Scripture.

Now, on to this week's topic.

We know that God has a purpose for all things, so what is His purpose in ordaining conflict? There is no way to fully know His every purpose in a situation but there are two things that we know He is doing, 1) glorifying His name and drawing attention to His power and presence and 2) strengthening and refining our character. So look at your conflict with those two things in mind and ask yourself how God is using this situation to do those things.

Four Ways to Resolve Conflicts

1) Glorify God! In resolving conflict glorifying God should be our ultimate goal because we exist to bring glory to His name.

“…bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." Isaiah 43:6-7

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthains 10:31 NIV

2) Remove the log from my own eye. We already talked about this in the last post and in the beginning of this post.

“Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:4-5

3) Go and show your brother his faults. Don’t revel and delight in this opportunity and do not make this a rant session about all the things your spouse has done wrong over the course of your marriage, etc. Go with a humble heart and the intention of loving your spouse.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone…” Matthew 18:15

When to overlook an offense:
*If the offense did not dishonor God
*If the offense did not permanently damage a relationship
*If it has not hurt others
*If the offense is not hurting the offender himself/herself

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

4) Go and be reconciled. For true reconciliation/forgiveness you must resolve not to think about the situation, not to bring up the situation again, not to talk to others about the situation, and not to allow this to stand between you and your spouse or to hinder your personal relationship. There may be situations where you both agree to make an exception to one of these things. For example, to help another couple in a similar situation, it may be necessary to talk about the conflict again.

"First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:24

Peacemaking In Marriage, Pt. 2

So, did you do your homework? Did you think about how you would answer the questions from last week's post?

Most conflicts come from unmet expectations and the disappointment and frustrations that result. Expectations are far too often idols. So, let's start by determining what the idols are in our lives and see if those are also areas of conflict with our spouses.

*What am I preoccupied with?
*"If only ___________, then I would feel happy, safe and secure."
*What do I want to preserve or avoid?
*Where do I put my trust?
*What do I fear?
*Is there something I want so much that I am willing to hurt others in order to obtain it?
*How am I judging those who don't fulfill my desires?
*How am I punishing those who don't fulfill my desires?

Idols are those things (material or not) that we put before the Lord. Things that we look to for happiness and fulfillment. True happiness and fulfillment can only come from God and idols will inevitably leave us broken and hungering.

"And they did wicked things, provoking the LORD to anger, and they served idols, of which the LORD had said to them, 'You shall not do this.'" 2 Kings 17:11-12


"They served their idols, which became a snare to them." Psalm 106:36


"Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love." Jonah 2:8

"Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry." 1 Cor. 10:14

"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality,
impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." Col. 3:5

Once we discover idols in our lives what do we do with that information? In 1 John 1:9 we read, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Confronting idols is done in 3 steps:

1) Identify- how did you answer the questions above? What expectations are idols in your life?

2) Confess- confess these things first to the Lord and then to anyone whom you've hurt in pursuit of these things.

3) Ask for forgiveness- again, first from the Lord and then from anyone you've hurt as a result of this idolatry.

So, look at the areas of conflict between you and your spouse, are any of them a result of idols in your heart? Pray and ask the Lord to reveal any idols in your life. In resolving conflicts and peacemaking, we must first start with ourselves.

Come back for the third (and possibly final) installment in this series next week.

Peacemaking In Marriage, Pt. 1

About a year ago, God put it on my heart that I needed to learn about what peace is. Not the peace of this world but true God-given, Christ-exalting peace.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27 ESV

One of the first things the Lord lead me to in this search for His peace was the book, The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. This book, in addition to the many Scriptures I read on peace, served to be incredibly convicting. There were a couple of key areas in my life where I did not have peace and with God's help, I needed to make some changes.

While, it's been a year and although the work is not complete, those areas have been transformed by His grace and peace. I will say more in another post about what those things are and what God taught me but this post is about peacemaking in marriage. This was the topic at the MOMS group I attended last week at my church. The speakers were a couple from my church and they used The Peacemakers and Sande's other book, Peacemaking for Families, as sources. I took notes during this presentation, so this series will be a combination of their information and my own insights (in italics).

I want to start by asking you to figure out how you would answer the following questions:

1) What are some current areas of conflict with my spouse? (Romance, finances, parenting, etc.)

2) How do I handle conflict? (Fight or flight; now or later; brush it under the rug, etc.)

3) How can my spouse and I have a more peaceful marriage?

4)What peacemaking characteristics are we teaching our children?

Ponder these things and tune in for the next part of this series!

Tragedy.

John Piper has written another powerful blog post on the horrific tragedy of abortion. His description of an 8 week old fetus again broke my heart for the unborn who are being murdered by the thousands each day.

"[An 8 week old fetus] with beating heart, EKG, brain waves,
thumb-sucking,pain sensitivity, finger-grasping,
and genetic humanity..."

That IS a human being; just as much as I am a human being and just as much as you are a human being. You can read Piper's post here. I pray that these words and these deaths break your heart as well.




"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

Discipline as the Lord does

"No father chastens always: your Lord hates the rod as much as you do; he only cares to use it for that reason which should make you willing to receive it, namely, that it works your lasting good." Morning and Evening, Spurgeon

My hope and prayer is that I may discipline Aiden as the Lord disciplines us. Each time I discipline Aiden I want it to be with the intention of working his lasting good. And his lasting good is for him to come to know and love Jesus as his Lord and personal Savior. I often fail at this by disciplining out of frustration or anger or impatience. I need to learn to hate the rod (or time outs or whatever form(s) of discipline are used) so that in the times when it is used I am only using it to point him to Christ and the Father's discipline of us.

"I know I got life, matter fact better man, I know I got Christ"

My soul was rocked today in church. The hectic schedule I have had for the last couple of weeks has left my spirit feeling weak and dry. Unfortunately, in all the things to get done, places to go, plans to make I have spent very little time focused on Christ. When Christ is your center and you are not focusing on Him, nothing else goes right. Spiritually I have barely been making it lately. Last night God lead me to my Morning and Evening devotional by Charles Spurgeon and to this week's fighter verse, James 4:7-8b. Those two things greatly encouraged me and I prayed that God would refresh my spirit. As He always does, God answered in a big way. The music today in church was exactly what I needed to hear. Before the first song was finished I could feel my soul drinking once again of the living waters.

But God did not stop there. Lecrae, a Christian rap artist, gave a special performance at our church this morning. He performed his song, "Don't Waste Your Life," which is based off of John Piper's book by the same title. The lyrics of this song brought me to tears. Seeing that God has taken rap music (which so often is full of sinful ideas) and made it his own was amazing. God has truly given Lecrae an incredible gift.

Finally, the sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. A powerful, insightful proclamation of the gospel, true to God's word! (I will put the link up for the sermon sometime Monday, Lord willing.) What an amazing answer to prayer! Thank you, Jesus, thank you!

"Don't Waste Your Life" Lecrae

What it means to be a parent

This quote from Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart summarizes my beliefs about what it means to be a parent:

“You must regard parenting as one of your most important tasks while you have children at home. This is your calling…There is nothing more important. You have only a brief season of life to invest yourself in this task. You have only one opportunity to do it. You cannot go back and do it over.

You live in a culture in which there are opportunities for you to do things unheard of in history. You are presented daily with scores of opportunities. There is more than you could ever do. [But] to do this job of parenting well, it must be a primary task. It is your primary calling.”

This would be my recommendation for anyone looking for a book on biblical parenting.

It is about Christ

What is the most important part of a wedding? In going into the planning of the wedding I knew the answer to this question. The answer is Christ, taking him out of the focus takes the entire significance out of the event.

I know that nonbelievers do not see Him as the most important part but I assumed that they saw the vows or the marriage as the most important. I am learning that this is not the case. What the wedding looks like, what food is served, how the food is served, etc., ad nausem. These are the things that are central in some people's minds. A wedding becomes all about appearances. This saddens me. I should add, this sentiment/this world view is not unique to unbelievers, there are professing Christians who feel the same way.

Before we even got engaged, Sean and I had discussed how important it was to us that his wedding and my wedding (no matter who we married) be as Christ-exalting as they could be. This remains the heart of our thinking as we now plan our wedding. There are nonbelievers in both of our families and we want to display the Truth of marriage in the best way we can. Even our wedding can be a testimony of God's grace, love and mercy. We want to step back from the world's belief that you must have the most expensive everything to have a good wedding. We want to be good stewards of the money God is loaning us, not only with regard to our wedding but also in our future together.

Now don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that a Christ-honoring wedding means being cheap. A wedding is a very important celebration, as is the reception. Jesus even saw fit to turn water into wine at the wedding in Cana, his first miraculous sign (see John 2). What I am saying is that every decision made and every penny spent should be done with the mindset of honoring and exalting Christ. That is what the heart of a marriage must be and a wedding is the beginning of a marriage. A marriage is a picture of Christ and the church so a wedding can be likened to the moment of salvation, the moment when the imperfect bride is joined to Christ forever. Celebrate this moment, praise Him, worship Him!

this world

I am becoming increasingly disturbed by the things I see and hear at the U. Rampant immorality and obscurity.

I am so thankful that my hope is not in this world as I watch it crumble more and more each day. I am blessed to serve a God that saved me from (and continues every day to save me from) that life.

I can't help but wonder what the world will look like as my son grows up but I know that if he puts his faith in Christ, Christ will protect him too.

One is too many.

"I'm Holding a Miracle" Jason French



Last Thursday marked the 36th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade and on that day as on everyday 4,000 innocent children were murdered. Below I posted 15 truths from John Piper and added one from me (#16).

15 Truths about Life and Abortion from John Piper

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." - Jesus Christ

1. Existing fetal homicide laws make a man guilty of manslaughter if he kills the baby in a mother's womb (except in the case of abortion).

2. Fetal surgery is performed on babies in the womb to save them while another child the same age is being legally destroyed.

3. Babies can sometimes survive on their own at 23 or 24 weeks, but abortion is legal beyond this limit.

4. Living on its own is not the criterion of human personhood, as we know from the use of respirators and dialysis.

5. Size is irrelevant to human personhood, as we know from the difference between a one-week-old and a six-year-old.

6. Developed reasoning powers are not the criterion of personhood, as we know from the capacities of three-month-old babies.

7. Infants in the womb are human beings scientifically by virtue of their genetic make up.

8. Ultrasound has given a stunning window on the womb that shows the unborn at eight weeks sucking his thumb, recoiling from pricking, responding to sound. All the organs are present, the brain is functioning, the heart is pumping, the liver is making blood cells, the kidneys are cleaning fluids, and there is a fingerprint. Virtually all abortions happen later than this date.

9. Justice dictates that when two legitimate rights conflict, the limitation of rights that does the least harm is the most just. Bearing a child for adoption does less harm than killing him.

10. Justice dictates that when either of two people must be inconvenienced or hurt to alleviate their united predicament, the one who bore the greater responsibility for the predicament should bear more of the inconvenience or hurt to alleviate it.

11. Justice dictates that a person may not coerce harm on another person by threatening voluntary harm on themselves.

12. The outcast and the disadvantaged and exploited are to be cared for in a special way, especially those with no voice of their own.

13. What is happening in the womb is the unique person-nurturing work of God, who alone has the right to give and take life.

14. There are countless clinics that offer life and hope to both mother and child (and father and parents), with care of every kind lovingly provided by people who will meet every need they can.

15.Jesus Christ can forgive all sins, and will give all who trusts him the help they need to do everything that life requires.

16. There were people who suggested I not keep my baby when I was 18 and pregnant. They looked at it as a mere inconvenience that could be easily rectified that way it would not "interfere" with my plans of going to med school and becoming a doctor. If I had done that and then become a doctor and saved thousands of lives, those lives would not make up for the one taken. I thank God that even as a unbeliever [at that time] He gave me the grace to know that abortion is murder, I pray He will do the same for you.

For more facts on abortion:

Abort73.com

Sign the petition against the Freedom of Choice Act:

www.fightfoca.com

history made today

There are two things that hit me today as I watch the Inauguration and they are true regardless of who you (or I) voted for.

1) History has been made. This was something I did not think I would see in my lifetime. I cannot help but be amazed at the progress our nation has made in less than 60 years!

2) Obama is the man that God has chosen to be our president for this season. To deny this fact is to deny the sovereignty of God. We do not know how God intends to use this but we do know that He ordained it. We may or may not have voted for Obama but now it is our duty to pray for him.

Bad days

I have a love/hate relationship with bad days. I hate having bad days, I hate feeling low or frustrated or angry [insert your emotion here] but then at the same time I love the fact that bad days draw me to the Bible and bring me to my knees in prayer. It's a paradox. Today was a bad day but I am planning to read my Bible and pray like I do most everyday (with God's help) and I know that He will grant me the grace to overcome this day.

What an awesome God we serve!

"Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7

Answered prayer

I woke up this morning with pain that started in my lower back and went all the way up to my temples. I couldn't function and felt exhausted. I prayed that God would give me relief and our amazing, generous Lord answered. I am still feeling a whisper of pain but it is a sweet reminder of His faithfulness. God is good even if He had not seen fit to take the pain away but I am thankful He did.

"Before they call I will answer;
while they are yet speaking I will hear."
Isaiah 65:24

The taste of feet

I hate those times when I unintentionally but completely stick my foot in my mouth. In most of these instances I offend someone who is dear to me and I hate that. So, in case I have done this to you, I am sorry.

Two years saved.

Today I celebrate the second anniversary of my salvation.

December 5th, 2006 was the day that I moved to Minnesota, an act that required me to completely trust in Christ and give control of my life over to Him, so I mark it as the day of my salvation. I was hoping to do a long post about this today but unfortunately a busy 2 year old and a mountain of laundry got in my way. I am however thinking about how special this day is and thanking God for the sacrifice of His Son!

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8

Happy 24th Birthday, "Drewdra"!

Just 24 short years ago (ok, so maybe it was 32) my parents welcomed their first child into the world. My oldest sister Dierdra (a.k.a. Dee, Drew, Drewdra) is celebrating her birthday today so this post is for her. Happy Birthday!

Drew is an incredible gift from God to anyone who has the opportunity to know her. She is Christ-centered and loves nothing more than to share His love with others. She displays the gifts of the Spirit in her patience, joy, love and faithfulness. Really she displays all the gifts at one time or another. I have been blessed to be the recipient of her loving guidance and her witness on many occasions. When I was an unbeliever God used her repeatedly to show me that there was indeed a way out of the darkness.

She is a beautiful example of how to faithfully submit to your husband as a Christian wife and I know that when I become a wife I will have her example to look on. I already benefit daily from the example she has given me of how to be a mother. God has truly blessed her and used her to bless countless others.

Thank you Drew for your love and kindness and above all, thanks be to our gracious Lord for the work He has done and is doing in you.

I love you dearly,
E.K.

First date, revisited.

Today marks 6 months since my first date with Sean. The beautiful work that God has done since that night brings me gratefully to my knees. I feel confident of where He is leading us but no matter where this relationship goes God has used it to grow me tremendously. Through God's grace, Sean is an incredible man and on the day this picture was taken I had no idea that a man like this existed. I continue to pray that God will bless me with the opportunity to love Sean for the rest of my life to His glory.

(Thanks to Drew, I have a picture to remember that night forever.
Note: It took me an entire week to find a shirt to wear!)

Dios mediante

We all have desires. It is not inherently wrong to have them as long as what you're pursuing is not a sin and your desire is not covetous. There is a specific way we are called to desire things though. When we want things, when we pray for things, when we go after things we must remember that our desires are subject above all to God's will.

We must always be aware of this and willing to submit to this. When we do not obtain our desires we must remember that this is God's will for us and we must be joyous. We can rest assured that even when something has not gone the way we have hoped it to, it has without a doubt gone the way our Sovereign Lord ordained. In accepting that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

It is good to want a husband and children. It is good to want health for ourselves and those we love. It is good to be joyous if God gives us these things but it is also good and vital to be joyous if He does not.

If you desire a husband and children but God keeps you single praise His name, for being single is for your good and His glory. If you lose someone you love to cancer even this is God's will and even this will be for good. "As for you, you meant evil against me but God meant it for good." (Genesis 50:20) If you want to be healthy to serve God and bring Him glory but you remain ill or in pain then this is how He wants you to bring Him glory. These incredibly difficult examples make the ones we face daily seem more surmountable. The most wonderful thing about all of this is knowing that the God who wills is also the God who gives the grace necessary to be joyous in these things.

Dios mediante. God willing.

My experiment

For the past four weeks I have been covertly [read: unintentionally] conducting an experiment. Hopefully today was the last day of the experiment for a while. In four weeks, Aiden and I have taken 3 trips to his pediatrician in Edina. Edina is a pretty affluent suburb of Minneapolis and therefore was the perfect site for this experiment. On each of the visits I have been observing the way cars are parked in the parking lot.

Hypothesis:
I left our first visit with my hypothesis, "The richer you are (or the more expensive car you drive), the worse you are at parking." Aiden left with a diagnosis of walking pneumonia.
Data:
Trip #2 confirmed my suspicions as Aiden and I attempted to walk between two cars that were parked completely crooked, one was a Range Rover and one was a Saab. That trip Aiden came home with a bill of good health and a few "owwies" from shots. Today was (again, I say hopefully) the culmination of my extensive scientific work on the subject of poor parking. I parked in front of a Cadillac that was over the line and crooked. Next to the Cadillac was a brand-new shiny Jeep, parked crooked. Now, don't get me wrong, when I say crooked I don't mean just a little bit, I mean "have you been drinking?"-crooked. Aiden departed this time with a diagnosis of an ear infection.
Conclusion:
Needless to say I think my hypothesis has been proven. Now the question remains, are they bad at parking because they truly lack the ability/eyesight to park straight or is it just that they don't think they have to park within the lines?